| Require the Daily Mail to print the following on every front page: "This is a fictional representation of the news. Any resemblance to real life is purely coincidental." |
I believe now that this should be enacted as swiftly as possible.
Before I move on to the digest of 'stories' I've been experiencing from the Daily Mail these last few days I shall present the results of this week's political compass test. I've compiled all three tests to date into one handy guide to the movements of my political leanings over the last near-month.
I've got to say that this week the result really was a bit of a surprise.
I would imagine that this result has been caused by my reaction to the bigoted nonsense that fills my eyes on a daily basis....
Well, so, there you go, I can't prove anything at present. I think that I'll continue to take a test with reasonable regularity after this is all over and try to find out how much of this movement is just related to the way in which you may naturally change how you answer questions and how much is linked to the paper that I am currently reading.
Next, we move on to a special double edition of the game that no one is calling 'Who wants to be a Mailionaire?'. Firstly I present the standard edition, in which it is revealed that I agreed with the readers of the Mail twice, in that Britain is not a world power, and that students should not pay £36,000 for a degree. A massive 91% of reactionary bigots in Mail-land do not think that we should be spending money on overseas aid, and it would appear that 60% of idiots think that we need more cuts. The one slightly vexed question if the BBC 'over 75's Licence Fee' one. I figure that of course the elderly should be provided with state benefits - and, perhaps a free TV licence is a nice addition to any pension, but I can't quite work out what the paper is getting at here (other than the BBC, obviously). I chose the 'no' button, but in this I assumed that this was a choice between covering the fees from the BBC budget, or the provision being subsidised by central government, a choice I think that I'd prefer to see. And now, part two of this week's Mailionaire. This ties in with the 'scandal' that is rarely being referred to as 'sexy glee-gate'. I wrote about this non-existent scandal earlier in the week. It really was a storm in an idiot's teacup. Anyway, there was a poll regarding sexygleegate today, so I took it: 
Turns out that Glee has become marginally too sexualised... Top work Daily Mail.
On the subject of non-existent scandals, Press not Sorry's post on twitter earlier drew my attention to this utter load of bollocks non-story dreamt up by the Fail. Apparently an advert that has not led to a single complaint to ASA is "controversial" and "has caused offence". Ok, sounds plausible. Oh, and one more - there was also this not-at-all-controversial-controversy that popped up, and also provided the lecherous twats at the Mail with the opportunity to print a picture of a seventeen year old's breasts. (I did have a quick look at the video that the paper got their screengrab from, you'd need lightning-fast reflexes to be able to pause the video in such a way as to show more than a tiny bit of boob).
And now to business. I'm going to start with the comments that followed an article about Tony Blair's Half-sister-in-law converting to Islam. Apparently she had a religious experience that made her want to become Muslim (how this is news, I'm unsure), but the reaction to this from some of my friends at the Mail is outstanding. We'll begin with Martin who says:
And what's wrong with our Christian religion? You can have spirituality without the ridiculous costume, have a glass of wine, eat any meat you want and basically not act subservient. Get a life woman!
Which might be a fair point, if you a) subscribe to the idea that Christianity is 'ours' and b) choose your religion based on the menu choices and the clothes. (I'd go Hare Krishna every time - who doesn't love lentils, and I've never met someone who looks bad in Orange.)
Or how about:
Does this silly woman realise that in Islam as a woman she has less status than a cow ?
Which comes from Mr. G (Not Mr. B, who is, after all, the gentleman rhymer). Finally, we get this comment, which, at time of writing had 180 'Red Arrows' (the Mail's way of allowing idiots to shout down any balanced arguments appearing in the comments section of the website).
Peace be upon You All... Welcome sister to the religion of Peace May peace and blessings of Allah be upon You... May God almighty Allah give you the beneficial knowledge of Islam Aameen... My request to the brothers and sisters in humanity to read Quran the final revelation from God almighty and accept the truth... May Peace and blessings of Allah be upon our final Prophet Mohammed and his family and the true believers in the oneness of Allah till the day of judgement Aameen...
[note. I realise that I said"I'm going to start with" then only covered one thing, I'm sorry about that oversight everyone!]
