When it comes to Lunchtime reading the Daily Mail poses problems.

I’ve been eating my lunch (left over stuffed roast peppers, since you asked) and having a quick read through the Daily Mail site.

First impressions are that whoever designed it is a moron who barely understands how people use the internet. Furthermore the side panel on the right is entirely populated with fluff stories. It appears almost impossible to find actual ‘news’ on the site. Even their ‘Breaking News’ section consists primarily of opinion pieces.
I picked out a few articles, enough that I could read through them quickly, and get my thoughts down in my break. I began with a ‘First draft’ of Ed Miliband’s Leadership speech, which actually turns out to be from yesterday, while still being considered worthy enough for the front page.

I can see that this piece is meant to be satire, but it has all the subtlety and nuance of a frying pan to the face. I move on, but before I do, I play a quick round of who wants to be a Mailionaire. I lose – 18% of Mail readers think that we should spend our way out of recession, as opposed to 82% who would prefer to say their way out. 
 
Next, a short article on how biased the BBC is against the Tories, what with a strike coinciding with our dear leader’s conference speech potentially preventing it’s live broadcast. The snideness of the article puts me off it, and the comments at time of writing are really, truly something to behold.

I’m told that David Cameron was ‘calm’ on This Morning "Even while sitting opposite that testament to engineering, the statuesque Holly [Willoughby]". So that was nice. The article manages to include some sniping at Ed Miliband and the Labour party, and some extremely patronising descriptions of women (mainly Holly Willoughby).

An article 'At the register office, my baby in my arms, I was asked: Marriage or birth? Why does that memory make me think of Ed Miliband..?' pumps more anti-Miliband guff down my eyes, forcing me to choke on my feta-filled peppers. Steadying myself, and reading on Ed Miliband’s Atheism is raised and his fitness to lead questioned, largely due to his lack of due respect for traditions.

As many a more erudite person than me has probably written and said – for a paper so concerned about not being told what to do, they sure like telling other people what to do.

A bit of Jan ‘some of my best friends are gay’ Moir finishes me off – can I carry on?! Prince Charles is "Right" about comedians who are crude.Further, I am told that Kylie is fabulous, the Milibands are treacherous and Nigella Lawson has tits. All Breaking News I’m sure you’ll agree.

Interestingly (although probably not for the Mail) Ms. Moir suggests that crude jokes regarding Downs Syndrome (Boyle), maimed soldiers (Carr) and Anne Frank (Mitchell – Although to be honest I’d not heard about this, can anyone enlighten me?) had something to do with the BBC. The crude comedians to whom she refers are largely C4 based, so I leave the article mostly confused.

As I choke down the last of my lunch I come across and article on the NHS which manages to get digs in at both art and our health service.

After my first sustained bout with the Mail I leave feeling confused, anxious, and certain that the Milibands are a "non-human" Marxist conspiracy to destroy Cameron’s brave new Britain.

Political leanings: Entrenched
Endurance of typos: Wavering
Mood: Positive about the project, concerned for Britain

More later.
Matt